I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
