sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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