I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
