if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His hands were made for my vagina.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
