They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
