i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
