My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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