listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
