And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
