You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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