I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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