Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
