All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
