he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i out mim tonsoeep
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