he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
