Betty ford says i'm here all night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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