she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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