Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He shit in the fireplace
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
