is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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