Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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