I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
