It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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