She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
