i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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