I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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