I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
