Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I enjoy the company of your penis
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