My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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