At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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