my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
