Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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