i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
