ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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