this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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