Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team