my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
