in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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