i already hear my dad disowning me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
