Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
