the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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