So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The struggles of a small town man whore
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
