had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
