My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
