if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
