tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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