I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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