I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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