Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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