My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
