My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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