I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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