so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
