P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
