no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
