so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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