So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
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i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is my gift to your gina
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize