you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
