So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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