Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
