chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
