Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
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and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!