I hate your face
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.