I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
