Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i out mim tonsoeep
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize