I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
tell me about the eggs
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